Hocus Pocus Chibi
by jazzy2may
Summary: Iruka mans the FortuneTeller’s booth Giving hex charms, bad luck, & misfortune readings, making Halloween a rather dismal affair. Yaoi, Iruka/Kakashi, No Like No Read. Sequel to Attack of the Chibi. 2 Part 1 Shot.


**- Warning: Halloween Fic, YAOI (M/M Slash) GAYFic, NO LIKE NO READ NO COMMENTS NECESSARY ON THE WAY OUT-**

**Usual Disclaimer**: No Own, No Make Money From Naruto or Kishimoto-sama, All rights and ownership belong to Him, Viz Media and whoever else has legal rights to Naruto.

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**sequel to: Attack of the Chibi**

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**TWO PART ONE SHOT**

Title: Hocus Pocus Chibi  
Author: Jazzy  
Rating: T  
Pairing: Kakashi/Iruka, Naruto/Kiba  
Genre: Humor, Angst, Romance, Holiday, YAOI  
Summary: Everyone wants their fortune read, especially the future of their love lives, Iruka instead gives out hex charms and bad luck, as well as misfortune readings, making Halloween a rather dismall affair. What happened to the fun trickery of the past few years in a row? Where is the sweet impish Iruka sensei gone? And where is Kakashi Hatake When Iruka is in desperate need of the Halloween Spirit?

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**Hocus Pocus Chibi  
- **PART ONE -

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This year Konoha was hosting a Halloween Carnival or in other words a Spooky Spectacular Event or as the kids called it Haunted Halloween Fun. Iruka had volunteered to host the Fortune Teller's Tent this year and was dressed appropriately in a dark flowing cape and robes. His hair was unbound and without prompting from his super pervert boyfriend. His dark locks were decorated in dark jewels and strings of braded silver jewelry chains. His eyes were even outlined in kohl to give him a more smoldering and darker look to his usually kind eyes.

Iruka had volunteered thinking he and Kakashi both would be in charge of the Sorcerer's tent, aka, the Fortune Teller's Grand Tent, however Kakashi had been taken away on a mission and was not due back for another two weeks, officially spoiling Iruka's perfect Halloween plans.

Halloween in Iruka's moody opinion, as well as super secret hidden diary, bit the big one this year.

He sighed and tapped his be-ringed fingers, long nails tap-tap-tapping the arm rest of his "throne" inside the Fortune Teller's Tent. He gazed moodily into his crystal ball wishing he could really see into the future, especially in regards to Kakashi's current state of health.

Halloween just wasn't the same without his irrepressible irresponsible lover at his side; especially when they had planned these elaborate sorcerer costumes all for the role of the sorcerer and sorcerer's assistant.

He wished he knew how the mission was going. He began to shuffle the tarot deck, picking the card that most called to him. Studying the card, he continued to frown, then he flipped open another and then another, and sighed again.

It was a very disappointing reading.

Iruka's mood was sour and spelled bad luck for any of the hapless curious be-costumed teens and adults that stumbled his way in curiosity. If they tested Iruka's patience too much he had voodoo dolls and curse spell papers ready to unleash on the hapless and unwary individuals. Their curses and "curses" were about the only thing right now that amused him. The tiny mean streak that lay well hidden inside the usually compassionate sensei was having a ball this Halloween. The miserable truly liked to enjoy the company of other miserables and if they weren't miserable then the miserable would make them miserable and therefore become at least for a moment happy – well maybe not happy, but at least momentarily contented.

Halloween has become a bit more fun for Iruka-sensei since hooking up with Hatake Kakashi, however this year he cannot enjoy the Trick-or-Treat Halloween Spirit, because his loved one is off on a mission; however Iruka still has to man the Fortune Teller's Booth, which means he's constantly reminded of his absent love. Everyone wants their fortune read, especially the future of their love lives, Iruka instead gives out hex charms and bad luck, as well as misfortune readings, making Halloween a rather dismall affair rather then the fun trickery of the few years in a row of the deviltry before that Iruka has previously played out with Hatake in tow. How was he to feel the impishness of the pagan holiday when the very perverted devil himself is absent for the occassion?

Iruka's mood was a sour one.

Iruka looked on his surplus of various types of dolls and magic tools. He had tea leaves, tarot cards, crystals, runes, bones, sticks, dice, charms, curses, cursed objects, cursed dolls, and of course the afore mentioned voodoo dolls and papers with carefully painted curse symbols and hexes in a magic hat for the misfortunate to pick from.

The hat had a cute slogan attached: "Do You Feel Lucky?" Usually among the hexes and curses there would have been blessings and good luck charms even fortune cookies, however not this year, soon enough the "lucky" or rather not so lucky individual who reached inside this hat to test his luck would find nothing but bad luck and a curse for his arrogance or curiosity. There were nothing but curses in that hat. Iruka loved that hat, he loved the sounds his unlucky customers made as they read their piece of paper or opened their "lucky egg" to find themselves cursed or hexed.

Inside Iruka would laugh evily but sometimes it would escape him in a sinister chuckle that froze the blood in his victims' veins. Iruka especially enjoyed their shrieks of terror or how their faces turned pale or how they simply looked stunned or face faulted after understanding they had a bad luck charm in their hands.

Of course among all of the "evil" tools of the trade; he also had lucky charms, sweet dolls, love potions, and other benign trinkets and dolls for those that did not court Iruka's ire or irritation or evil mood swings.

He even had a cauldron of Candy for the sweet kids. Though Iruka was in a mood he couldn't inflict it on the chibis that came to visit their "kind" and "loveable" Iruka-sensei. But beware adults and teens because they were fare game in Iruka's book, especially jounins.

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It was a full moon tonight, making it a perfect Halloween. Entering the Fortune Teller's Tent, came the still much in love couple, Kiba Inuzuka and Naruto Uzumaki.

Kiba was dressed as a Pirate with Naruto in a matching outfit, only Naruto was playing the part of Kiba's Pirate Tabby Cat, yes, he was orange and striped, and looked just like the cutest little kitty with his Pirate bandanna matching that of Kiba's green one. Each had earrings in their ears and black leather vests on.

"Damn!" cried Kiba. "You actually look scary Iruka-sensei!"

Naruto elbowed his lover. "careful, nya, sensei's in one of his moods nya."

Kiba shivered as black bottomless pitiless obsidian eyes alight with a never before seen cruelty lit on him. Kiba gulped and took a step backward clutching onto Naruto for safety.

"Hello Kiba-kun, would you like to test your luck tonight?" A sinister smirk played cruelly across Iruka's lips as he reached over and offered the "lucky" hat to his foolish graduated student. The dark aura around Iruka pulsed and crept outward to lightly run its dark touch over his x-students' senses.

"Uuuuuhh ummm" Kiba sweated, "maybe later." He finally squeaked out in a tiny voice.

Naruto scowled at his "brave" lover, even Akamaru was hiding behind them, tail tucked tightly between his legs, and well out of reach, far out of reach of Iruka's evil moody chakra.

"Okay, sensei," he said, dropping his cute cat accent and speaking regularly, "I know you're pissed off but you don't have to take it out on us. We didn't give Kakashi-sensei the assignment that took him away from you for Halloween." cried Naruto, chastising his beloved academy sensei.

Iruka scowled but he broke eye contact and bowed his head feeling slightly ashamed of himself. Still, it wasn't fair! His Halloween was ruined! At least Naruto had his Kiba with him, who did Iruka have? Just his cat summons, aka familiars Tom-Tom and Tommy-Cat, and though Iruka loved them and was comforted by their presence they were still no Kakashi!

Hinata dressed as Cleopatra and Neji dressed as the roman general, Markus Antonius "Antony" that had been in love with her; but just because they were dressed as such it didn't mean they were in love with each other. No, surprisingly Hinata had finally gone from one hopeless crush on Naruto to an actually reciprocated love by Gai-sensei's clone, Rock Lee. Hinata had found the boy to be much like Naruto and admired those qualities within him; his strong will and determination, even his loudness though he was way louder than her beloved Naruto had ever been. But there had been something about Rock Lee, his kindness for one thing and his genuine-ness.

Yes the boy had suffered a great blow to the heart when at long last it sank in that Sakura would never return his love that instead Sakura had found love in an entirely new direction. TenTen and Sakura, dressed in matching warrior princess outfits and holding hands, apparently they were now making their relationship public (good for them) entered the tent. Next to enter, accompanying them, was Choji dressed as a flamboyant vampire, and Ino dressed as a gypsy princess. Those two looked to be making it for the long haul. Which Iruka was proud of Ino for. The girl had grown out of her self-absorbed behavior and obsession with thinness and was now very happy with Choji, even going so far as to allow her usually rail thin figure plump up enough into a delicious curvaceous figure.

Shikamaru (too lazy to dress up as anything other then a ninja) and his girlfriend from Suna, Temari dressed as a Dragon Empress came up behind them and further behind them was Sai and Sasuke dressed in nothing in particular. It seemed they were protesting the Halloween Spirit, or were simply accepting that they were no longer children and didn't need to dress up for such a silly festivity as Halloween.

Iruka again felt the embers of jealousy burn within his heart. Every one had someone, friends, loved ones, spending Halloween with them, all but Iruka. Iruka had no one this year. Everyone had someone; even Kotetsu and Izumo had each other; and Genma and Raidou, even Gai and Shizune, Anko and Ibiki, and boy were those some strange pairings (AnkoIbiki and GaiShizune) they all had the one they loved at their side, all but for Iruka, even the younger generation that stood before him unintentionally twisting the kunai in his embittered heart.

"Come on Sensei, you know that crazy Jounin isn't about to miss out on Halloween with you. I bet he shows up before too much longer."

Iruka pouted, rather sexily, which was kind of creepy to think about.

Naruto rubbed his eyes and quelled his inner pervert and gave it a good kick in the pants. Iruka was like a father to him, there was no way in hell he was going to think those kinds of things about his father/mother figure!

_Dam you, Fox Demon! Don't you dare do that again! Howled the outraged Naruto._

_The kitsune laughed uproariously inside of Naruto's conscience._

_"It's Halloween, time for tricks and treats, my little golden cage," Insisted the fox._

Naruto scowled.

"Kitsune No Kyubi again?" asked Kiba, gently. Hugging his lover tightly around the shoulders.

"Yeah." Replied Naruto, blushing.

"What's that dam fox doing now, or rather taunting you with, this time?" growled Kiba in protective mode.

"Just saying stuff about, you know, Halloween and er…" Blushing even more brightly. "Pervy stuff about Iruka-sensei, its almost like I've got an inner Kakashi-sensei if you know what I mean."

Kiba's jaw dropped. Iruka's aura fluxuated and grew into something more fearsome than ever before. Iruka pulsated with righteous rage. Appearing in his hand was an old looking mirror, one with bones and scary etchings and old words carved all around it. Iruka's face and eyes looked even more frightening as he said in an eery and scary voice.

"Oh, do you now, Naruto-kun, perhaps your inner demon should beware such things, perhaps I should introduce him to the mirror of devastation?"

Naruto took a fearful step back from the "evil" sorcerer Iruka. "er uh, no no no, that won't be necessary Sensei!" embarassed laugh, fingers scratching the back of his blonde head. "Honest! I've got it under control."

On the inside Naruto was kicking the fox in the head and to finish off his victory he gave the Kitsune a noogy to end all noogies. The kitsune was crying like a baby cradling his statick electric charged head, pouting and whining he called Naruto an "_unfair meanie_".

_"serves you right, pervert! That's my Iruka-sensei you were calling sexy, you know! Hes not sexy; he's like my dad or my mom or my big brother or my big sister, he's family you PERVERT HENTAI!" roared the inner Naruto scandalized and extremely embarassedas well as angry at his personal demon._

_"You just wait Naruto, one day… eeek!" Kitsune huddled in the back of his cage in terror as Naruto kicked at the door and at his side was Sasuke Uchiha red eyes spinning shining darkly, a danger to the demon as well._

_"need help dobe?"_

_"Nah, but thanks Sasuke, I got it under control. And I really appreciate the offer though." Grinned Naruto._

_Sasuke sighed sadly. "Don't look at me that way Dobe. Not when you have a boyfriend already."_

_"P-Pervert!" gasped Naruto scandalized anew._

_"When you fall out of love with Kiba, always know Naruto, I am here for you. I love you." said Sasuke before Naruto could come up with a reply Sasuke disappeared from within him leaving Naruto blushing and sputteringrunning away again from the devestation and chaos he had once again left in his wake._

_"Dam perverts, what is it about me that attracts them? First it's the demon, then its Kakashi-sensei, then Jiraiya Jiji-sensei, and now, Sasuke! Oh man! I so don't need this! Damn perverts all over the place!" Naruto grumbled._

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Iruka was looking slightly appeased as he looked from the mirror to his ex-students. Somehow Iruka knew what Sasuke and Naruto had done to the pervy demon. Naruto continued to blush as Iruka smiled at him, and it wasn't the creepy smile from before filled with danger and malice, no this was Iruka-sensei's usual expression of pride and love. He was proud of them for working together to overcome such a hateful and spiteful entity.

"You saw it in that mirror, didn't you sensei?" asked Sakura, her eyes alight with a keen curiosity and her usual determined intelligence.

"Yes, its ancient and has many powers. It was handed down to me from my grandmother. She was a witch and very moody."

Everyone was very careful not to say, "just like you, sensei?" they figured that wouldn't go over too well with Iruka-sensei, it would probably get all of their buttes cursed for the next seven years if they had uttered such a thing. Of course with Kiba and Naruto in the group, well thankfully for Aburame Shino's arrival (dressed as the reaper) and for Sasuke's elbow in Naruto's stomach, they managed to keep the two numbskulls from saying such thoughtless things together in unison. If not for Sasuke and Shino, well, it would have been a disaster if that had happened.

Kiba was glaring at Shino while Naruto was glaring at Sasuke while rubbing his stomach. The Teme's elbow was really hard and it had really hurt! Wait! Shino was still hanging all over Kiba! Naruto's glare now transferred over to Shino. What was it with geniuses? They were all so arrogant and thoughtless!

"Hey! Get your hands off my boyfriend." Roared Naruto, slapping Shino's hand away from Kiba's lips.

Kiba was blushing happily while Naruto fussed over him. Naruto was so cute when he was jealous. Not that Naruto had anything to be jealous of, Shino and Kiba were just pals and teammates, nothing more. Naruto didn't have to worry about losing him to Shino. Unlike Kiba who had to be on constant guard around Sasuke and his usual attempts at trying to steal Naruto away from Kiba. Dam Uchiha just had to grow up to be an even more unbearable arrogant jerk but worse then that a perverted arrogant bastard with an eye for stealing Kiba's Naruto away from him. Not in this lifetime buster! Kiba was an Inuzuka and matehood was a lifetime commitment, there was no way Kiba was ever going to leave Naruto unless it was with Kiba's death.

Naruto and Kiba were once again glued at the hip, hands in each other's back pockets. Shino looked sad but hid it quickly. Sasuke had a calculating gleam in his eye. Maybe he would win Naruto someday after all, especially if he allied with Shino to split the two apart?

Shino's expression grew colder and distant as if to tell the Uchiha, "I would never do something so dishonorable".

"Iruka-sensei, why don't you leave the fortune teller's booth and join us. There is so much to see and do." Invited Hinata shyly. "especially if you turn into a chibi again like last year and the year before that and the year before that." Hinata was now blushing dangerously hot. Neji felt a twinge of concern, Hinata only blushed like that just seconds before fainting.

Iruka smiled kindly at the shy young lady. "Its all right Hinata, I appreciate the invitation but, who will man the booth if I don't stay here? I signed up for this duty and I will carry it out even if I am missing my lover."

Crisis fainting young Hyuuga mistress averted.

"Its just, that maybe, I mean," Hinata tapped her fingers together her blush having died down moments ago was back I n full bloom as she stuttered. "I don't mean to be insensitive, but its just, as a chibi, you, as a chibi…" she couldn't quite get her words to come out the way she meant them , she gazed desperately into her cousin's understanding eyes.

"As a chibi you seem to have more fun, Most Youthful Iruka Sensei, and perhaps with the infusion of Your Most Joyous Self, the Bloom of Past Spring Time, Your inner Youth, Perhaps Your Younger Youthful Youth will perhaps infuse your Halloween Spirit back to life." Said Rock Lee, in his turtle costume, his good guy stance looked a little awkward.

There was dead silence, that voice was not coming from Neji, though you would think it would have been since his mouth was still open in the beginnings of explanation for his shy cousin, but no it belonged to non other then...

As every ear twitched. Iruka put a weak hand over his aching forehead and closed his eyes. Did the kid have to be so loud? Did he have to destroy the evil atmosphere in his booth of gloom?

"Here, Lee-kun, choose a charm from the lucky hat" smiled Iruka.

With much show of joy and bounciness, which again looked very odd in a tortoise costume, Rock Lee cheerfully dipped his green clad fingers in to the hat marked "Feeling Lucky?" and of course Rock Lee did indeed choose a fortune cookie charm from the hat, the only good luck charm in the whole hat.

_Where the hell did that come from? This is a Hex Hat!_ Scowled Iruka's inner prankster.

"Y-Yosh! H-Hinata-hime, inside this cookie was a ring! We're so blessed by the youthful spirits." Sobbed RockLee, going down on one knee to give Hinata the green emerald four leaf clover ring.

Hinata's smile lit up the entire tent, the evil atmosphere was destroyed for good. Iruka's terrible mood shifted once again and he found his lips were smiling as well, as his inner romantic finally surfaced to bless his two fortunate ex-students.

"L-Lee, I-I accept." Blushed Hinata before fainting. Neji caught her while Rock Lee went into panic mode. Neji sighed it would seem his guardian status was never going to end, between making Rock Lee halfway rational and holding up his cousin at every occasion, a Hyuuga's duty was never done and perhaps even one day Neji was even destined to be their children's nanny as well. Good Gods! Was that really his destiny? To be Hinata's support and Rock Lee's rationale? To run after their children and continue this duty until the end of his days or at least until he could pawn off the duty unto his own children?

Was this really what the great Hyuuga clan had been reduced to? He should protest he should get his mind examined he should… he looked at Lee's face and looked into his cousin's happy if unconscious face, and sighed. If Neji wouldn't do it who would? Certainly not Hanabi, who had a crush of her own on another numbskull, the deceased third's grandson, Asuma-sensei's nephew, the annoying little brat that still trailed after his hero, Uzumaki Naruto, all around Konoha, Sarutobi Konohamaru.

Besides, was it really so bad? Hinata was a sweet person and she needed someone to watcher back when it came to Hyuuga politics, because Gods help the two of them, as sweet and halfway intelligent as Rock Lee was, Rock Lee was no match for the cold blooded Hyuuga family and for all of Hinata's blood unfortunately Hinata was just too kind for her own good as well, the two of them were helpless without Neji. They were definitely going to need Neji, forever. And it was Destiny and Duty that was calling to Neji and so he couldn't turn away from it.

Now he had a wedding to plan. Of all the luck. That hat was cursed!

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To Be Continued - In PART TWO - coming before or on Halloween! of 2009

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